“An angel has fallen”

Life has it’s ups and downs. We all know this. We know we need the bad times, dare I say, devastating times, so we recognise the great ones (and vice versa). That does not however, mean we are in agreement with the way these ‘bad times’ manifest themselves and it certainly does not make them any easier to deal with when they arise.

This is a hard blog for me to write for a number of reasons… The first being, out of the 5 or so people that actually read my boring ramblings, one of those 5 in particular has been affected by this tragedy a lot harder and deeper than myself and I know he is hurting more than words could ever truly illustrate. It therefore seems trivial to lay my feelings bare. And secondly, it’s not a blog I ever, EVER, thought I would be writing about one of my friends and I’m pissed off with the world that this has even happened.

Death is a scary prospect but luckily one that folks my age really shouldn’t have to be worrying about. Priorities at our age should (apparently) be about the journey into true adulthood. The career, the partner, the house, the screaming brats, you get the picture. Or so we all thought. To be fair, I think that’s what most people think until they themselves are met with the harsh reality that it doesn’t matter if you’re in your teens, twenties, thirties, forties, whenever; you’re not invincible. There isn’t a certain age you get to where you’re suddenly ‘at risk’. Everyone is at risk, every day of their lives and you never know what is round the corner.

On the evening of Wednesday 30th July Rob and I received a message from one of our closest and very best friends, a message was to change everything, in one split second.
Dave and Anna are without doubt the nicest couple we know. They would go out of their way for anyone and always put everyone else before themselves, both in their home life and work life. We knew Anna was ill and it had a been a fairly long and drawn out process trying to establish exactly what was wrong and what could be done about it. There were numerous trips to various hospitals, tests, more visits, more tests, medication, tests, different medication… but no definitive answer or solution.

We were lucky enough to spend some time with Anna on the preceding Monday, at the England Vs India cricket in Southampton. Yes, on the day she was tired and it was obvious she was short of breath and generally not feeling great. But she was still there, and she still had a smile on her face (even though she was watching cricket which if you know Anna you’ll be aware she’s not exactly a major fan of). At one point the boys went off and left us girls at the seats. I had a lovely chat with her about, well, everything! We did touch on the hospital visits and the current situation but chatter soon turned to nicer and enjoyable topics… as it generally does when you leave chatting girlies to their own devices.

Dave took Anna back to the hotel during the lunch break for some R&R. If we had known then what we know now, we all would have gone back, just to spend a few more hours with her.

On the Wednesday, the 30th, at 17:48, after being taken to hospital that morning, Anna’s body simply didn’t have the strength to fight anymore and she sadly passed away.

The world just stood still.

Everything stopped.

I didn’t believe it to start with. I was going through every Anna I know in my head, except her, refusing to believe it could be that Anna… Dave’s Anna. I just kept saying “I don’t understand” over and over again. Because I didn’t. What? We were only with her 2 days ago. WTF is going on? Rob and I were both just sat there, staring at each other, tears rolling down our cheeks, shaking our heads, trying (and failing) to comprehend what had actually just happened.

Then our thoughts immediately turned to Dave. Hurting, bereaved Dave. I can’t even begin to imagine the torrent of emotions that would have been flooding his body and mind at that time. Why is life so unfair? As I say, Dave is genuinely one of the nicest people you could ever hope to meet and those that know him are honoured to do so. No-one deserves this amount of pain and suffering, but to think that Dave, of all people, has been hit by this truly unimaginable and abhorrent tragedy is nothing short of heartbreaking.

I’ll be honest, it’s been a tough time. Trying to come to terms with our own emotions and at the same time trying to form a rock for Dave and be there for him as and when. Teaming up with Traynor the 3 of us formed a damn good team and the 4 of us have pretty much been inseparable over the past 30 days. He’s probably sick of us to be honest but he doesn’t have a choice. Sorry Dave!

Needless to say we have hardly let him out of our site in the last month – although we have given him permission to go to Ibiza this week and spend some much needed time with his brother Joe who lives there (lucky!). Fear not, we’re joining him there next week!

Anna’s death was sudden and completely unexpected which inevitably led to numerous questions over her early departure from this world. After the post mortem it was confirmed Anna died from pulmonary hypertension. PH is not a ‘household’ term. Not many people, other than those affected by it, even know it exists. But it is a serious condition that affects a lot of people throughout the world. One of the things they need, like any charity and/or research institute is funding. Funding to stop angels falling and hearts breaking.

To this end Rob and I are now doing World’s Toughest Mudder in aid of the PHA and in memory of dear friend, and much missed, Anna. The competition allows us to take “pit crew” so we are taking Dave with us so he can watch the event and see in real-time whether we succeed. He will also be monitoring the donation site (no pressure readers). It will be awesome to have him with us and will no doubt spur us on to succeed and complete our target distance. We tried to get him to enter. But he’s not as stupid as us.