A quote from one of my pre-wedding blogs regarding the wedding dress purchase last year:

“One thing is for sure though, I will not be putting this dress in the attic to simply collect dust, this dress will be worshiped! Forever.”

Turns out only one part of that sentence that’s true – it’s not in the attic. The wedding dress is still hanging where I put it on 2nd September 2012; on the outside of the wardrobe in the spare room. Collecting dust.

Don’t worry; it’s still in it’s protective bag-cover-type-thing. Good job too because as if my neglect and lack of care of this item to be “worshipped” wasn’t bad enough… 

Today…

The cat, shit on the bag.

And not just any shit, oh no, diarrhoea if you don’t mind. Mmmmmmm. Lovely. Thanks for that Dexter, no really, thank-fucking-you.

Not only did he shit all over the protective cover, his liquid, and frankly quite poor attempt at faeces, seeped through the not-so-protective cover ONTO MY DRESS!!

I’m well aware it was due for a trip to the dry cleaners or wherever you take a wedding dress to be cleaned but I wanted to do it on MY TIME not have my hand forced by an incontinent cat!

Not only that, he also shat on my box of ‘wedding scrap book’ items. And all over the carpet.

FML. FMCat.