Although growing up I was never convinced marriage was something I was going to be lucky enough to enjoy, I had occasionally let my mind wander as to what my wedding would be like. As mentioned in my previous post, I had always pictured exchanging vows in a church. It’s true that religion is not something that any of my friends would associate with me, but it has always been a constant in my life, one way or another. As a wee baby, back in Hertfordshire, I was baptised Church of England and whilst living there I attended Sunday School (now that will be a surprise to some!). We moved around quite a bit while I was growing up so I never felt affiliated with one particular parish; because of that, as a family we mainly kept our attendance to the major festivals / celebrations. In addition I also attended a Catholic senior school (Farnborough Hill) and as we were fortunate to have our own chapel it meant services at school were regular. Although they were clearly Catholic services all faiths were respected and you were free to practice them.

At our initial visit to Aynhoe Park, having noticed the church we decided to have a snoop around, if only to find out its name; which we did – St. Michael’s. The church itself was locked but we took a look round the grounds and were stunned by the architecture of the rear of the building. It’s spectacular and complements the look of neighbouring Aynhoe Park perfectly. After falling in love with the reception venue so instantly, and with the perfect proximity of the church (dangerously resembling my “dream wedding”) surely this actually being a CoE church would be too much to ask?

A week or so later I decided procrastination was not going to provide the answer and I had to bite the bullet. I nervously typed ‘St. Michael’s, Aynho’ into Google and held my breath as the screen refreshed… I didn’t need to hold it for long as the top link was a description of St. Michael’s… on the Church of England website. Yay, yay! With a bit more research I found it was one of six churches in the parish, which is run by the Rved Gill Barker. I knew that although the CoE had updated their “rules” on marrying outside of your local parish there would be hurdles to overcome, but we were also sure that if we were prepared to work hard and show our commitment we should be ok. That’s what the website says anyway.

Before I got the ball rolling I was pretty keen to see the inside of the church. Naturally. As it happened, Aynhoe Park were hosting a garden party to celebrate the Royal Wedding which also coincided with my Dad’s birthday, so I suggested a family day out. They get to see the potential wedding venue, my mum gets to well up over Kate’s dress and hopefully we could get a look at ‘our’ church. I love it when a plan comes together! It was a great day; my family loved the venue, we got to see how Aynhoe Park handle an “event” and most importantly the church was unlocked. As soon as the doors opened and I saw the light streaming in through the large stained glass window dominating the back of the church, I knew it was perfect. I didn’t want to get too carried away what with the parish situation and everything but I couldn’t help it! I counted the number of seats and size wise its perfect, not only that, I even made my dad practise walking me down the aisle!! Needless to say we went home very happy.

I freely admit that after that visit I wasn’t exactly quick off the blocks to get in touch with Gill. Needless to say it’s because I was scared of what the outcome could be, but after a couple of weeks I plucked up the courage to phone her. It was probably the lowestest point of this process so far. Being told that something you are pinning your hopes on is “highly unlikely” is bad enough at the best of times, but when it comes to your wedding I can tell you now even the tinniest let down is the. End. Of. The. World. I wont bore you with the detail (for once) but at that point, although the Rved was sympathetic to our situation, it wasn’t looking good. Gill agreed to send me the list of “qualifying criteria” that we had gone through on the phone, and which we had failed (on every point) just so I could double check with both our families that any of them were valid.

The next couple of months were pretty busy and even after receiving Gill’s email I didn’t read it straight away. I already knew the answers. Or so I thought. At the end of July whilst performing some mundane ‘email clearing’ I decided to open the attachment from Gill illustrating the rules on marrying at St. Michael’s. Turns out we had been through every qualifying criteria but one; “at any time has regularly gone to normal church services in the parish church for a period of at least 6 months”. Interesting…

Course of action set, I found out the timings for the next Sunday service and Rob and I, dressed for church, made our way to Aynho. At the service we made an effort to meet a few members of the congregation (and locals), all of whom were lovely and very welcoming. The service itself was conducted by the Rved Eddie Smith as apposed to Gill and although it was a shame not to meet her, we took the opportunity to have a chat with Eddie as the congregation were leaving. He was really nice and once we explained the situation and proposed the 6 month attendance option he said he was sure that another couple were currently doing the same thing and that it shouldn’t be a problem. I felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders and the excitement brewing. The following day, still buzzing at the prospect, I emailed Gill laying out what we had discussed with Eddie. Upon request I phoned her and was once again bought crashing back down to earth with the revelation that not only was there most definitely not another couple currently doing the same thing but that the “6 month rule” had a whole load of complications attached. This wasn’t end-of-the-world-bad, this was a painful and torturous death, following by the end of the world. And the galaxy. And the universe bad. I admit it, I cried. On the phone. The new lowest point!

After a bit of consoling (and I think the realisation that we really were serious about this and everything we had proposed) Gill became more receptive to the idea. We agreed that we would start attending service from that point on and then in February (when our 6 months is up) she would book in our wedding. Good times! The only downside is that as we cant book it until then, therefore should anyone else in the parish request the same date between now and February, they get it. Not only that but there are 6 churches in the parish and they only hold one wedding per weekend per parish – so if someone asks for our requested date in of of the 5 neighbouring churches, we cant have St. Michael’s. Bad times.

Rob and I are prepared to take the risk though so we have been dutifully driving to Aynho every other Sunday to practice worship. Only a 2.5hr round trip. I know. Madness. But… it does mean we may get the wedding of our (…my?) dreams, declaring our love in God’s house… and surely he would want that?!