We got back from Australia at the beginning of December 2010… Before we knew it, it was Christmas. The New Year blues followed, then it was my birthday! We chose to celebrate with a joint engagement/birthday party at ours. Our dear friend Joe created the most awesome cake for us, one side reflecting my birthday and the other a reconstruction of the proposal in Sydney.

By the end of February and after a few months of getting lost in the excitement of it all it was time to actually make some plans. How long you take to plan your wedding is a completely personal thing – some brides can put together an amazing affair in only a few months, others choose to take slightly longer, dragging out the experience for as long as possible. I’m definitely in this camp. Not just because I genuinely enjoy the planning stage, but because, well… I’m such a control freak. The longer I have to make sure every tiny detail is perfect, the better. And anyway, I don’t think 18months-ish planning is really that bad.

My first port of call was the venue. I’ve always pictured getting married in a church and Rob was in agreement so you would imagine I would look at venues within my parish. No. As it happens we’ve moved house since then anyway so it would have been pointless. When I started looking at potential reception venues I totally disregarded the location/parish issue and looked for venues I truly loved. There were a number of places that caught my eye and although I thought I knew what kind of venue I wanted, I clearly didn’t as all of them seemed to be country manor houses or large country hotels. Not something I thought I would have considered. Even though the style/size of the venues was appealing I still wanted there to be something different about it and I didn’t want to have to rely on decorations to do this. Out of the hundreds I looked at these were the top few runners…

The Four Seasons, Dogmersfield – http://www.fourseasons.com/hampshire/

Notely Abbey, Oxford- http://www.notleyabbey.co.uk/

Oakley Hall, Hampshire – http://www.oakleyhall-park.com/

Botleys Manor, Surrey- http://www.botleys-mansion.co.uk/

Ashdown Park, Sussex- http://www.ashdownpark.com/

I made a list of questions covering the basics (exclusive hire, alcohol license, deposits, supplier PSLs, catering options, how long DJ can operate etc. etc.) and sent a few emails to see who could provide what I was looking for. When it comes to contacting venues don’t be afraid you ask for exactly what you want. The worst they can say is no. And you move on. I made the mistake of being too forgiving with the first few enquiries I made. If they couldn’t do something I was looking for I found myself almost apologising for requesting it in the first place. NO. THIS IS MY DAY!If you have a clear idea of what you want then don’t be pushed into something that makes it more convenient for the venue, or even worse “compromise” (aka lose) an aspect of the day you really want. Having said that, if you want direction, assistance and a complete package then the larger hotels, that are geared up to churn out weddings day after day, would definitely be a good place to start.

I was becoming really frustrated with the lack of flexibility of a lot of the venues. Also at the response rate. If a venue didn’t get back to me within 78hours then they were culled instantly. There are too many venues out there for that attitude. For those that did respond I was shocked that, considering they all advertise themselves as ‘Wedding Venues’, they really couldn’t provide me with what I was looking for. Nevertheless I thought maybe meeting some in person may help give us a better idea of whether these styles of venues were right for us. We went to Oakley Hall, Notley Abbey & The Four Season’s. All of my fears were confirmed and none of them were interested in my requirements, they just rattled off their policies. On top of that they were all very snobby. When you’re considering spending 10’s of thousands of pounds on their precious venue, you would imagine they would encourage and entice you to do so. But no, instead they feel the need to dominate, patronise and in some instances (Notley Abbey) unashamedly look down on you for even dare imagining you could have your special day there. I had an issue with everything; minimum guest requirement (of silly numbers), DJ sets having to finish by a stupid early time, the cost being trebled by having it on a Saturday, their all or nothing attitudes – in as much as they do EVERYTHING and you cant bring in any of your own suppliers (to bring cost down). One venue (Notley Abbey; again) even said that we were only allowed to use their DJ (at some ridiculous price). Corkage charge too… I mean, WTF? I’ve since found out that very few independent caterers charge corkage for weddings – nice little bonus for the venue at circa £13 a pop! No, sorry, not pop, coz champagne corkage is £20! RIDICULOUS!!!!!

One venue had caught my attention a few times after different google searches but for some reason I never looked into it further… or even visited their website. Feeling mightily despondent following my initial venue hunt I continued on and this venue just KEPT coming up. Whether I was searching for ‘funky wedding venues’, ‘party house hire’, flexible venues’ it was there… I couldn’t ignore it any more. To the homepage of  Aynhoe Park I went… OH MY GOD! For me, the first impression means everything and I instantly fell in love with the building. At this point I still didn’t know what could make it different from the other country manors I’d been to see, and was worried I would face the same inflexible pretentious attitudes I had already encountered. As soon as I took the online ‘tour of the house’ I knew it was something special. It was funky, it was cool and every room had something different about it. The best bit was it’s actually someone’s private house. So although that means they don’t have the ‘in-house’ wedding set-up the larger hotels have surely it would mean there’d be some flexibility?

I sent an email and Katy rang me that afternoon. First test passed with flying colours and it just got better from there. Nothing I asked for was a problem. NOTHING. Surely some catch? I arranged a viewing for the following week and tried not to get over excited. Apart from anything else Rob hadn’t seen it yet and I didn’t know how he’d feel about the rather quirky interior.

As we approached the venue we were instantly drawn in by the picture postcard village it sits in. As first impressions go it was looking good. As we turned into the venue’s entrance I couldn’t help but let out an audible gasp. It really is beautiful. Rob was smiling which was a good sign. As we toured the house with Katy I bombarded her with numerous questions all of which were met with the correct answer (for me anyway!). The icing on the cake was on our exit – we were talking about potential dates and how we were being put off by the Saturday ‘hike’ in prices. As Aynhoe Park is a private house Katy made our day by explaining it would make no difference to the overall cost. Then, as we turned to leave we noticed the top of building next door poking up behind Aynhoe’s impressive structure. It was only a bloody church!! Everything seemed to be coming together. We got in the car and I nervously turned to Rob… who without hesitation declared his love for the venue and location. GET IN!

Aynhoe Park

From that moment I haven’t considered holding our Wedding Reception anywhere else. We got the date booked in the week after (albeit in pencil!). The only thing that could possibly rock the boat was the Church of England’s policy on marrying outside your parish. And for that matter whether the church next to Aynhoe Park was even CoE! Challenge number 2 was set and God help me, by hell or high water we will celebrate our day in the pretty village of Aynho.